Ghosts of the Past
by Contrary-Miss-Mary
Summary: Although the accident happened years ago, the memories continue to haunt Susan, even on her wedding day. Slight spoilers for the very last page of The Last Battle. (One-Shot).


Susan gazed into the mirror, unsure that the girl staring back was even her. Of course, the stranger had Susan's voluminous dark hair, and full pink lips, but the scalloped neckline of the snow white dress was new, and the soft look of happiness in her eyes was one long forgotten. Still, even in that happiness, Susan couldn't help but wonder, what Lucy would have said had she been there.

Susan laughed sadly to herself, sinking into the chair before her vanity, knowing exactly what her sister would say.

"_You look beautiful Susan_," Lucy would smile, stroking her elder sister's silky locks. She was always saying things like that, failing to see her own obvious beauty shining through.

Susan was pulled out of her thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Are you all ready, dear?" a maternal voice called from the other side. Although she knew it was the voice of her soon to be mother-in-law, an altogether kind woman, she couldn't help but wish it was her mother out there instead.

"Yes, I think so," Susan responded, gingerly lifting herself onto her feet, and straightening out her gown with the pads of her fingers. She grabbed her bouquet from the dressing table, a beautiful medley of pastel blooms, each one a nod to her sister and mother's favorite flowers.

Then, she headed toward the door and pulled it open. There stood her almost mother-in-law Ruth, short and homely, the perfect opposite of her lean, radiant Mum.

"Oh, how sweet you look," Ruth said cheerily, reaching out to pat Susan's slender arm.

Her mum would have told her she looked beautiful. So would her father, and Peter, and Lucy. Even Edmund would have at least said she looked pretty. But never sweet. Susan despised the word, hated it's sugary, youthful, innocent connotation. Lucy was sweet. Jill was sweet. But Susan had suffered far too much pain, and the closest thing to "sweet" that Susan could ever claim to be was of the bitter variety.

She had a right mind to tell Ruth that very thing, but she just couldn't bring herself to. Instead, she simply said,"Thank you very much ma'am," a smile plastered to her face. "I could certainly say the same."

Ruth laughed at that, a long jocund noise that turned her cheeks rosy red and made Susan feel terrible for all her rude thoughts.

"I've must tell you dear," she said, wiping happy tears from her eyes, "I've no idea how Henry managed to find a young lady as kind as you."

Susan has no idea why Henry even thought she was a kind enough young lady to wed. She certainly couldn't have been anything more to him than a bother. Not to say that she didn't care for him, of course not. She'd never been more in love with any man in her whole life, except maybe a certain princely character from her sibling's games as a young teenager.

But why Henry had chosen her, she'd never know. She's known of his feelings since before the accident, and once she was all alone, it seemed only appropriate that he would become crutch for her to lean on. But, despite her new found love, Susan began to feel more and more aloof, until even she didn't recognize the girl she was becoming.

"Here we are!" Ruth announced, pushing open the doors of the chapel. Suddenly, Susan was in the fray, and there was no way for her to turn back. She felt what seemed like millions of unfamiliar eyes on her, and the safety of Henry's elated smile seemed miles out of her reach.

Susan wanted to rush to him, to find comfort in his soft, soft eyes, but her feet wouldn't budge, not an inch.

"Oh help," she whispered to herself, almost unable to breathe.

Images of her siblings swirled into her dazed mind and hovered around her, their nonexistent touch making her shiver. What would they have said if they were here, how could they have helped her?

"_Susan_," Peter would have said, "_There's no way you can keep living like this. You've got to let us go and move on_."

But how could she do that? She wasn't even brave enough to enter a room without falling back into the past, let alone live a whole life without her siblings.

"_Susan_," Edmund would have said, "_Don't be dim. Of course you're brave enough. You're more than brave enough. You've fought in battles and saved Narnia countless times_."

But being the heroine of a childish game was far easier than being the heroine of her own real life. She'd gotten this far without them, but she couldn't make it the rest of the way. She simply couldn't.

"_Susan_," Lucy would have said. "_We'll love you no matter what you do, but don't let us keep you from the world. And the world needs the gentle touch of Susan Pevensie_."

Strong Peter. Bold Edmund. Dear Lucy. Her loving mother and father, and all of her family friends. They were gone, and had been gone, but in that moment, Susan felt as though they were with her once more. And that feeling gave her the courage to take her first steps down the aisle, her first steps to a new future.

" I love you," she breathed almost inaudibly, so softly that only the stone cold ears of the dead could possibly understand her words.

And right then, Susan could have sworn she heard three voices whisper in unison,"_I love you, too_," before softly fading away.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, sorry if that bummed you out, I usually don't write sad stories, but I couldn't help myself. And it wasn't all sad, right? Anyway, I'm usually not that fond of older Susan, but after thinking of what she had to go through... I couldn't help but try to give her a closer look and a little love. And it's up to you to decide whether or not P, Ed, and Lu were actually there at the end, or if it was just Susan's mind playing tricks on her.**

**Please like and review, I'd love to hear your comments or constructive criticisms :)**


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